A local journalist wrote a piece today saying he and his wife disagree about how their daughter should someday learn that Santa Claus isn’t real. He wants her to come to the conclusion on her own time, while his wife doesn’t see a problem with continuing to read a book that will soon lay it all out.
He closes the article, tongue placed slightly in cheek, saying:
So basically, all I really want is a way to be honest, protect my daughter’s sense of Christmas wonder, instill in her the values of faith, kindness and generosity, achieve peace on earth and stay married. Is that so much to ask?
I say he failed his goal of being “honest” with his children when he first introduced or perpetuated the idea that Santa is real. I’ve said this of lying about Santa to people before, and the response is almost always the same. “It’s not LYING! Santa is tradition”, “Believing in Santa and then learning that he’s not real is part of growing up”, “Wow, you’re sure a GRINCH!”
But seriously, just because it’s tradition to lie to our kids doesn’t make it right. Can Santa be fun? Absolutely. But you can still be HONEST with your kids (what a novel idea) and pretend together as a family. “Oh, we’d better put cookies out for Santa. Funny that his favorite kind is the same as Daddy’s.”
Thankfully, my wife and I agree on this. I’ll quote her IM conversation with me (which was a bit stilted and short due to my younger daughter repeatedly stealing the keyboard from her), emphasis mine:
I don’t like the idea of tricking them. But, I do like playing along, in fun… same with Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. I like going through the motions, the pageantry, the fiction; I want to encour0age pretending, and enjoying worlds of make-believe, and knowing what’s true.
So don’t even THINK about saying we’re no fun or that we’re ruining out children’s childhood. We have other ways of doing that! 😉
Become A Robot 
Wow–a controversial post from you! Love it.
I don’t have a strong stand on this issue either way. Maybe that will change when I have kiddos of my own. I like the Santa myth (sounds like you do too), but I haven’t decided if I’ll actively perpetuate it or not.
In my own childhood, I don’t think my parents ever told me it was false, but they never worked hard to make me believe it either. When I found out it wasn’t true, I wasn’t traumatized. I have heard of others who took the news hard, though.
Good post.
Thanks, Nathan. I figured I’d deleted enough half-started posts out of fear of controversy!
It sounds like my parents were similar to yours. I never believed in Senor Claus, but my brother did for a long time, and was devastated when I showed him where my parents were hiding the “From Santa” presents in November.
When the keyboard pounding interrupted me, I was trying to say, “and knowing what’s true within those worlds.”
Over the weekend, we pointed to lightning bugs so our eldest could see them glow. She thought pointing at them made them light up, so she kept aiming her finger like a magic wand, growing increasingly emphatic until they glowed. We didn’t try to trick her, but also didn’t correct the confusion over what’s real.
I’ve already told her that Santa is pretend when we saw one in the mall, and plan on answering any questions honestly. Since we aren’t giving presents from Santa, he probably won’t be very important! But I wouldn’t argue if our kids believed in him anyway. And I’d prefer our kids believe some fantasies are real than to look down on fantasy altogether (at least they’d likely outgrow the former).
The cool thing about Santa is that he’s just as much fun when he’s pretend as he is when he’s real. At least, that was our experience. Santa was always make-believe here at our house.
I didn’t want to introduce the thought: “If Santa isn’t real, I wonder what else isn’t true that I’ve been told.”
Exactly, Jeff!